Thursday, October 10, 2013

Trading Fear for Faith



The Mama Bear mentality; I see it a lot in the blog world and my everyday life.  I understand the need to protect our children and to do our best to make sure those that have wronged them are set straight or punished.  I get it… I do.  But is that what we should be doing as moms?  Are we to defend them with claws bared and teeth showing?  Or are we to show them how forgiveness looks?  No claws, no teeth, just a healthy understanding of how the world works and a heart that has no room in it for hate and anger?


I pose these questions after a very trying week; a moment that started out as a simple inconvenience, later a sad revelation and finally the mouth drooping realization that my trust was misplaced.  And some of the fault was my own.  Not because I allowed someone to scam me or others, but because I knew there was something wrong.  I felt it to my core but didn’t face it because the reality is I spent the better part of my working life in an area where I dealt with these same things.  I didn’t leave the job because of that.  Truth is I liked that part.  The discovery, the puzzle pieces and the final call you made confirming all that you suspected with proof in hand.  


But this wasn’t work.  I wasn’t paid to find the bad guy.  Instead I happened upon it because of an emergency where I was needed in order to keep things afloat.  And more importantly I had to be the one to stand between the ugliness of the world and the reality of my daughter’s everyday life; a safe haven where she can be herself, the crazy kid who sees music and feels art.  And I wanted to be that shield.  I still do.  But I can’t, at least not always.


The easy thing to do is get mad.  Anger comes fast for many, slow for others but either way it still shows up as a burst of raw energy.  You can release it and in that moment you don’t care about the damage you leave behind because you feel justified.  You think there are no consequences because in your mind the person who betrayed you and your child deserves it.  It was coming to them; karma and bad vibes, the reckoning of their misdeeds.  


But I disagree.

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Thanks for takin' the time to read my stuff. :)