So as a mom I have magic kisses.
It’s a mutation that happens soon after you have your first baby. In the beginning it helps sooth your child to sleep or reassures them when they’re upset, but then one day you realize its power. And it’s great! That is until your kids hurt the bottom of their dirty feet, bust a snotty nose or in the case that just happened where Little Man bit his tongue.
I tried the kiss my finger touch his tongue method… he wasn't satisfied. <sigh>
I’m no longer a fan of Magic Mom kisses. <wipes mouth off>
I wrote out our IRS refund "fun" money shopping list. This is the money we get to spend after having paid off the last of our debt:
1. Toilet Seat (I had to return, but it's been replaced.)
2. Bathroom Exhaust Fan with Heater (Wouldn't fit due to old swamp heater in the way.)
3. Closet Door (Fixed no need to buy one.)
4. Weed and Feed (Done!)
5. Garden Irrigation System (Have enough supplies to do it.)
6. Garden Fencing (Too stinkin' expensive.)
7. Gutters for Front Porch (Totally forgot... didn't bring the list.) ;)
Also, the oldest was grounded; part of her punishment was no TV… unless the twins had something on. She hates Dora. She didn’t at their age, but at 9… <eye roll> So anyway, I’m putting the laundry away down the hall and I hear Dora say her same ole spiel; “So where do we go next?” and under Karate Girl’s breath I hear her mumble, “How about off the cliff Dora?” I thought maybe I misunderstood but sure enough when Dora repeated herself KG says it again, but this time she gets the twins to chime in, “Off the cliff Dora, jump off the cliff!” I had to bury my face in a pillow for fear they’d hear me.
Heading off to church I notice Karate Girl was wearing flip flops. Not only is it cold and the shoes over-sized, but her toenail polish was just little flecks of blue paint. It looks bad.
While dropping the twins off in the church nursery Little Man steps on the back of her over-sized flip flops and she nearly trips. When she starts to get on to him I said, “…and that’s why you shouldn't wear flip flops to church.”
And my sweet little girl, the one I pray over every night and give a dozen kisses to every day had the gall to tell me, “And you’re not supposed to wear house shoes to church either.”
I added a day to her grounding and she said it was worth it. I waited for God to smite her but THEN when I told the husband he started to laugh and gave Karate Girl a dap and a ‘good job’.
All this while in church. <sigh> There is no hope for my family!!!
Returned a toilet seat. It was the highlight of my day.
So I had just curled up on the couch with my blanket, some hot tea and my Kindle when I hear some crackling noise coming from the kid's room. "What can that possibly be?" I look towards the piano at the stacks of Girl Scout cookies that need to be picked up and I start to wonder. When could they have possibly have grabbed a box. When I turned the kettle on? When I switched the laundry over? More noise comes from their room. <sigh> FINE!
I walk in to their room and both dive under the bed. The crackling noise is louder. "Guys, what do y’all have?" I see a lone Peanut Butter Pattie in an outstretched hand; "Sorry mama." Then Blondie kicks out TWO empty boxes. "What have y'all done!?!" She sticks her hand out and hands me the empty plastic tray. (The noise that sent me to their room in the first place.) I hear another, "Sorry mama." But this time they both start to laugh and say, "Soooo good mama!" I pick up the empty boxes, the empty trays, the empty foil like wrappers and find that one has a few cookies left.
With puppy dog eyes they watch as I slowly eat the left over cookies in front of them. "That'll learn ya! Now go grab some Thin Mints. Mama's heard they taste great straight from the freezer."
I lied to my kids to get them to eat dinner. It was just a geographical lie... so it's not really a lie... right? Anyway it had me thinking about the craziest lie my parents told me.
For me it was my dad telling me that the flashing sign at the bank that told the time and temperature was run by little people. When I questioned him further not knowing if I should believe him or not, he explained that you almost never see little people on the street like you do in Oz. That was because they lived in an underground city where they ran all the street lights, railroad crossings and signs like those at our local bank.
I’m ashamed to admit how long I believed him. <blush>
Painting canvas, it's all I did. The whole day. I'm behide on laundry and chores, but it's done dang it!
|Marshall's is super 'funny'. ;)|
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