Thursday, September 20, 2012

Pride, Prejudice and Poop


Last night, right after putting the kids to bed, I decided to pull out a double sided easel with a chalkboard on one side and a dry erase board on the other.  Now that the weather is cooler and since I’m not a fan of messes and therefor blessed with many each day… I moved it from its hiding place in my bedroom to the playhouse outside.  I loaded up a plastic Easter bucket with their driveway chalk and set it up for them to play with. 
 
(Before) I'll not show after.  I <3 y'all too much. 
Being that I’m getting older and my mind is no longer what it used to be… I forgot about it.  So this morning when Little Man came running back in the house just 5-minutes after asking to go outside, I was prepared for some tattling on little sister or fussing about it being too cold.  (For a Texas toddler that’s anything under 65 degrees.) Instead he ran straight for me, hugged my leg and said, “Thank you mama.  Thank you so much.”  And then ran back outside. 

I was pleased that he wanted to hug and thank me, but couldn’t think for the life of me why he did.  Then I popped my head outside and saw him and Blondie scribbling all over the picnic table and decking with the chalk.  No worries, it washes off easily.  So glad I didn’t include dry erase markers.  It comes off the board easily enough, but would have been permanent graffiti on the walls, table and flooring. 

So, I went outside to show them how the board worked, but didn’t bother to tell them to stop writing on the wood since it wasn’t doing any damage.  They seemed pleased with the way the chalk worked better on the board, but seconds later they were back to the table.  So inside the house I went to finish cleaning up from breakfast and sneak in a little more reading.  (Yay for a new Jane Austen inspired book!!)

After a chapter or two and a few concentrated listens for squeals, screams or the dreaded silence I got another cup of coffee, cozied back up on the couch and started to read some more.  I was quite satisfied with my brilliant idea to pull out a new toy so late in the season.  *This was a Christmas gift I was holding on to.  I’ve said it before; I’ll say it again… I’m cheap.  Or should I say frugal?  That sounds better.  Either way had I pulled it out in January it would have been destined for Goodwill or the dumpster by now.  So I’ll go with brilliant.  ;)

So I’m back in my modern day Pride and Prejudice when I hear screams of delight.  Another pat on the back; “Well done, you rock at this mom thing.”  And then Blondie comes running in the house continuing her screams, but it’s not delight like I initially thought.  Close behind her was Little Man and a fist full of… was that mud?  No, what isn’t grass is mulch in our yard… so it must be… damn it "NO!!!!"

“So help me son if you touch anything in this house I will lock you outside until your dad comes home.”  He looks at me with a grin, and then at his sister, “Do NOT touch your sister either!!” 

So off to the sink we go.  Hands washed, stripped down naked so I decided to bath him, for the second time in less than 15-hours.  After his bath, and a new outfit I decided to investigate.  Sure enough, where there was once chalk on the table, walls and floor… it was now his own custom blend.  :/   

I decide to hose everything down, so of course I can’t get the stupid sprinkler off the hose because The Husband puts everything on like it’s going to be launched into space and has to be air tight.  Heck, it might even be welded on for all I know.  So now I have to lock the kids in the house till Husband comes home for lunch and can replace the sprinkler with a pressure nozzle. 

So much for Pride and Prejudice... I'm stuck with poop.  :/    

 

23 comments:

  1. OMG Christine, this would have totally ruined my day! But, I have my own poop stories (just this morning too) but it definitely does not surpass Marshall's artistic poo-abilities.

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  2. Tommy came home at lunch and fixed the hose for me. I got after the wall with a wire brush. Peeled some of the paint off, but anything to get the poop off. :/ Fed everyone and putting the twins down for a nap now. I'm going to read dang it!

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  3. i LOVE poop stories! This had be cracking up and at the same time shaking my head in sympathy.

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  4. Hi! I found you through the Blog Hop. I've enjoyed your blog, and poop stories are the best. Well, you have to be a mom or in the direct care field to appreciate poop stories, but when you do, they are funny.

    http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/

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  5. Poop, I have too many of these stories :/
    I am now following from the TGIF blog hop :)
    Myranda
    www.prettylivingpdx.com

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  6. Hi there! New follower here, found you via the TGIF blog hop. This post was just what I needed to read today! Thanks for the giggle, and *cringe* at the poop! I had to clean poop up today and it is definitely my parenting kryptonite. It ruins me every time. Great writing x

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  7. Thank y'all for following. I'm potty training twins...there will be more poop stories I'm sure. :)

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  8. My husband has the same "fear of the stratosphere" !!! Our little hasn't finger painted with it, but he doesn't have a sister to chase with it either. He is, however, extraordinarily proud of his poop. Couldn't tell you the number of times I've heard "Hey! You gotta come see this... and bring a candle!!!"
    -pynk

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  9. Oh dear, stories like these always scare the bejeebus outta me. How much random poop on the table do I have in my future?! TGIF bloggy hop rocks! THanks for the morning laugh.

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  10. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! *Shakes fist at the heavens.* I'm so sorry. I do not miss the poop days. Definitely been there (poop art on the bathroom wall - ugh). I'm here from the Friday Blog Hop and happy to find you!

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  11. Stopping by from the Blog Hop. Wow, I thought the crayon I was cleaning off the wall this morning was bad! I hope the rest of your week is better! Luckily, my youngest only uses crayons (and a Sharpie once or twice when I forgot to put it back in the childproof drawer). He does like to tell me what his poops look like, but lucky for me has never played with it. (Fingers crossed, knock on wood...)

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  12. Found you on the blog hop!

    I am soooooo thankful I've yet to have a poop story to share, with a 5 and 8 year old. Notice I didn't say I've never, because with my youngest, anything is possible, and one day there might be another.

    Hey, at least the morning started out well :)

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  13. Potty training twins is very humbling. :/

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  14. ...and thanks for all the follows. I will do my best to find you all on here and do the same. I love reading new blogs. :)
    *Blog Hop ROCKS!

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  15. Just found your blog, via the blog hop I think. I'm a mom of boy/girl twins as well.
    http://myinfertileworldsm.blogspot.com/

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  16. Found you on the blog hop.. great post.
    http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/

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  17. Congratulations on being featured in the blog hop!! I could totally see the whole scene unfolding as I was reading this. Can't wait to read lots more stories!!

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  18. I know I shouldn't be laughing, but that was really funny!! :)

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  19. Love the little playhouse btw.... Cute!

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  20. Oh this made me chuckle! but I feel your pain - my toddler redecorated her bedroom with her own custom blend once!
    new follower vis TGIF blog hop x

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  21. This is too funny--loved the way you ended it, too. You're a good writer and you gave me a good laugh this evening!! Newest follower from the hop on your GFC. Would LOVE it if you could stop by my humorous blog site and follow back the same way--I'd be very grateful if you could! Thanks for sharing!! http://Menopausalmother.blogpot.com

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    1. Oops--I typed the blog URL incorrectly--it should be: http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

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  22. Oh my goodness! I don't know what I would do if I had a boy! They are so different from girls!!

    Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award because I think you are awesome and I love reading your blog. :)

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Thanks for takin' the time to read my stuff. :)