I’m an only child to two working parents. My dad had a shop he worked in and my mom was an avid reader… our house was quiet. When they had company we had ambient lighting and soft background music… the house was always quiet. The first 10-years of our marriage it was just my husband and I and though he practiced the guitar daily he kept the amp low or played his acoustic. I was/am an avid reader… the house was quiet. And just like my parents music and lights are ambient... the house was always quiet.
When we had our first child things did get a little noisier, but not by much, it was manageable. And she napped which meant some peace during the day. She also slept all night from a very early age. The house was relatively quiet for one with a child. But just one week before she started kindergarten I had the twins. Since then the only time the house has been quiet is the two times my parents have taken all of them. Once for a long weekend and the last time was Father’s Day week. And oh what heaven that time was. I did miss them, especially at bed time when I like to have us all under the same roof, but still… it was much needed.
It’s been two months now, and I’m feeling the strain. I’m usually very slow to anger, but find I have to take a deep breath before I respond to my children. I know harsh words last longer than loving ones, so that breath gives my mind time to think and my mouth something to do other than spit words I’ll regret. But still there is a look that must cross my face, because all 3 children react, it’s subtle, but it’s there.
We have a long weekend planned in just a few weeks and I’m looking forward to it. But I can’t keep wishing my days away hoping for time without my kids. I’ll look up one day and find I wished them all away and I won’t know or appreciate my children for who they were, are and will be. I don’t want to be that mom. And the sad part is I know what I have to do.
Even though it’s inevitable that one or all of the kids will wake up when I try to have quiet time with the Lord, there is nothing that says He can’t hear me in the noise and mayhem. If anything He stands closer to me during those times, I can just whisper my prayer. And if I’m fortunate enough my kids will quiet down just long enough to hear those words and realize that peace is not a place or sound, but a moment in the presence of God.